Here’s the deal, you’re awesome.
You’re seriously f@!king awesome.
That’s the truth and good luck trying to convince me otherwise.
When you read or hear those words, that you’re awesome.. does it make you feel awkward or maybe even a little bit uncomfortable?
If if does, you ever wonder why that is?
The Bad Stuff Is Easier To Believe
It’s crazy isn’t it, that a compliment, something that’s suppose to make us feel good, doesn’t and instead, we end up just blowing it off.
I never thought I’d be quoting Julia Roberts from the movie Pretty Women, but I’m about to…
“People put you down enough you start to believe it… the bad stuff is easier to believe, you ever notice that?”
Thanks for that Vivian, I mean Julia – I have noticed that.
And it’s bullshit – I don’t like it.
I tell people all the time that they’re awesome, and I mean it, every single time.
I don’t just say it for the sake of just saying it either, I really do mean it.
Because people ARE awesome… YOU are awesome!
Unfortunately, you aren’t told this enough – that you are awesome, that you are exceptional, that you do have what it takes, that you can and will succeed.
Not exactly sure why, but it seems like it’s usually just the opposite, where we’re told we’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough to lose weight, to be fit, to make a healthy lifestyle shift, to land your dream job, to find that special someone.
Who are you to think you can have any one of these things?
The better question is, and one I’m going to relentlessly ask that you ask yourself going forward is…
Who are you not to think you can have these things?
That you are good enough, smart enough, and worthy enough to have what it is you want?
You’re not good enough? Says who?
You’re not smart enough? Says who?
You’re not worthy enough? Says who?
I’d like to have a conversation with the people telling you these things but since I can’t, I’ll tell you instead that it’s all bullshit – don’t listen to any of it.
People Put You Down Enough & Tell You That You Can’t, You Start To Believe It
I know I certainly did.
It bothers me just thinking about it and writing about it here but it’s important that I do, so I will.
It’s important because there’s no way I will stand by and let people think that they are anything less than awesome, regardless of what bullshit stories they’ve been told.
(If you’re keeping a bullshit word counter, I believe I’m at three and trust me, there’s more to come)
It’s these stories we create that are based on what we’re told and begin to believe that shape our thoughts, decisions, actions, and ultimately our results.
I recently had someone reach out to me asking for some advice on weight loss, exercises, and what to eat to lose weight.
I replied back with all the information I thought would give her the best chance to successfully lose weight.
I receiving an email back from her thanking me for taking the time to help and sharing all I did with her.
She also thanked me for my encouragement and for believing she could and would succeed because she wasn’t getting that level of support from anywhere else, including her own family.
Not only was she not getting encouragement and support, she was being told to stop, to give it up.
“What makes you think you’re going to lose weight this time when you’ve tried so many times before and failed?”
People put you down enough and tell you that you can’t, you start believing it.
What kind of story do you think this person has around losing weight and her chances of successfully losing weight are?
If I were to guess based on the emails we exchanged and what she shared with me, I would say her story is that whenever she decides to try and lose weight, she fails.
With a story like that and people around her continuing to feed her these bullshit stories, how on earth can anyone expect her to succeed?
How Can Anyone Succeed When The Stories Created In Our Minds Are….
“I always fails when I try to lose weight.”
“I’m not smart or good enough to succeed in a career or job that I love.”
“I’m not worthy enough to be in a loving relationship with someone who loves me unconditionally.”
“I don’t have the smarts or what it takes to start my own business, travel the world, write a book, whatever it may be.”
How do any one of these stories serve us or help us to succeed?
The answer is they don’t.
Get Rid Of Stories That Aren’t Serving You
Take a second right now to think about stories you may have created based on what you’ve been told by others.
What are these stories?
Do they resemble any of the ones I’ve mentioned above?
Better yet, when you think about the stories you’ve created, are these stories serving you or suppressing you, your health, and your happiness?
Here’s something to try to test these stories and whether or not their helping or hindering you from achieving your goals.
Take each story and recite each one out loud.
Right after reciting each story, follow it up with “because I’m awesome“.
Let’s see what that looks like:
I always fail when I try to lose weight.… because I’m awesome.
I’m not smart or good enough to succeed in that career or job that I love… because I’m awesome.
I’m not worthy enough to be in a loving relationship… because I’m awesome.
Do these sound or seem a little bit off and odd to you?
They sure as hell do to me.
That’s because these stories are crap, they’re worthless, they’re bullshit and serve no purpose taking up space in your mind.
Let’s change these stories up a bit and add “because I’m awesome” at the end.
Let’s see what that looks like:
I give 100% when I’m trying to lose weight… because I’m awesome.
I am smart and good enough to succeed in a career or job that I love… because I’m awesome.
I am worthy enough to be in a loving relationship… because I’m awesome.
Do these stories sound better and make more sense to you now?
I’d certainly say so – because when you believe you’re awesome, regardless of what you’ve been told, the statement before “because I’m awesome” supports you being awesome.
When You Believe You’re Awesome, You Will Be Awesome
Believing you’re awesome sounds conceded and self centered, and it can be.
Although that’s not the type of awesome I’m referring to here.
The kind of awesome I’m referring to is believing in yourself, in the person you are, in the unique strengths and abilities you have, that only you have.
This is what makes you awesome, your unique strengths, talents, and abilities.
Unfortunately, it’s these same strengths, talents, and abilities that are often ignored, making way for your faults and failures to be the focal point.
For some reason we take these natural strengths and abilities of ours for granted because to us, they mean nothing, they’re nothing special.
And because they come so naturally to us, we think nothing of them.
Follow this up with others feeding you stories that confirm what you’re already thinking, that you really don’t have any unique strengths, talents, or abilities and that is a recipe for disaster.
We All Want To Be And Feel Awesome
As a kid, I didn’t believe I was anything special or had any special skills, talents, or abilities.
These thoughts were unfortunately reinforced by several school teachers and counselors I had throughout grade school telling me I was average.
Actually, not even average, below average.
What they failed to realize was that my fucking report card didn’t define me – that my grades didn’t mean I did not have unique talents, skills, and strengths.
They didn’t tell me I was awesome, they didn’t believe in me, they didn’t encourage and support me.
I wonder how much more I would have tried if they had told me, regardless of my grades, that I was awesome, that they believed in me, that I could do better, and had unique strength and talents.
Luckily for me I had my dad, who was by no means perfect, but he believed in me.
He seemed to always see greatness in me and although he wouldn’t tell me in so many words, my dad wasn’t a man of many words, he did always encourage and support me.
Whatever I was working on and creating, he’d let me know he was proud of me, believed in me, and was ready and willing to invest money in whatever it was I was working on and creating.
In the words of the late Jim Valvano, “My dad gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”
Who Believes In You?
Who’s telling you you’re awesome?
Who’s encouraging and supporting you?
It’s not silly or self-centered to want any of these things either.
Who doesn’t like to be believed in, to be told they’re awesome, encouraged and supported?
I know I do, and my guess is you do too.
If you currently don’t have this in your life, people who believe in you, who are telling you you’re awesome, who support and encourage you, it’s important you get it because you deserve it.
Are you hearing me?
You deserve it – yes YOU, reading this post right now.
Regardless of the stories you currently have about yourself, what you deserve, and what’s possible, I’m telling, you deserve it.
You deserve this level of support and encouragement in your life, because you are awesome.
And when you believe you’re awesome, you begin to think, do, and create awesome.
The world around you becomes awesome and the coolest thing of all is, you begin to inspire others to believe that they too are awesome.
But we can never get there unless we begin to question the stories we’ve created in our minds.
Questioning whether these stories are serving us and getting us closer to our goals or hindering us from getting there because of stories of not being good enough, smart enough, or worthy of any of it.
What Are Your Stories?
Here’s two questions to consider followed by practical steps that’ll help you find out what your stories are and whether or not these stories are helping or hindering you from achieving your goals.
What is one area in your life right now that you are either unhappy with and want to change?
Perhaps you’re tired of being overweight and want to lose weight or are unable to stick to a regular exercise routine.
Maybe you’re unhappy in your current job, career, or relationship?
Maybe there’s a couple of areas you’re unhappy with and want to change.
For right now, pick one – the one that’s bothering you the most that you want to change immediately and write it down.
In this area where you are most unhappy and want change, what stories do you tell yourself about who you are and what it is you want?
Maybe it’s weight loss you want but you don’t believe it’s possible to lose weight because you’ve tried and have failed before, or it’s too hard, or that you’re just “big-boned“.
Maybe it’s feeling like you’re not smart enough or worthy of landing a rewarding career that you love, or that you don’t have the courage to start your own business.
Maybe it’s a story that if you bring something up in your relationship, it will lead to something bad or that if this happens, then this other thing over here must happen too or that you’re not worthy of being loved because… (fill in the blank).
Write down as many stories as possible, what you believe, around this one area you’re wanting to make a change.
The real stories, the stories you’ve created over the years that guide you, that are deep rooted, that you may not even be aware of exist, are often exposed further down the list.
These fucked up stories are often deep rooted and don’t want to be challenged, questioned, and messed with but I’ll be damned if I let these stories keep messing with you and holding you back.
Once your list of stories is completed, ask yourself the following 3 questions for each story:
1) Is this story supporting me?
2) Is it encouraging and motivating me?
3) Is it getting me closer to my goals?
CHANGING YOUR STORY
Here’s three things you can do right now to change your story (what you believe about yourself and what you believe is possible).
If you answered no to any one of the questions above (Is this story supporting me? Is it encouraging and motivating me? Is it getting me closer to my goals?), get rid of that story immediately.
Cross it off your list because it isn’t serving you, it’s holding you back and it’s time to replace that old bullshit story with one that will encourage, support, and help you move closer to your goal.
You’ll attract what you think of most.
So if you’re continuously thinking, “I can’t lose weight because I’ve tried before and failed”, guess what’s going to happen?
Yup, you guessed it… you will try and fail again because that’s exactly what you were focused on, that was your story.
It’s time to change that story because it isn’t helping you, it’s hurting you.
It’s time to change the story to.. “I will give it my all and I will succeed this time. Nothing will stop me or get in my way – no story, no person, nothing.”
What type of results do you think someone with this story will get?
A lot better results that’s for sure than the person focusing on…“I’ve tried, failed, and will most likely fail again.”
Are you beginning to see the power that our stories have over us?
I’m not suggesting that changing your story is easy peasy business and will guarantee immediate results, I mean it could, but that’s not what I’m saying here.
What I am saying is there must be a course correction with what we think, the stories we tell ourselves, and what we believe, must be aligned with our goals if we are to achieve our goals.
Additional Mindset Suggestions
Stop using the word or phrase “I will try“.
The word “try” is just another way of saying I won’t, I can’t, or I’m not committed.
Going forward, take ownership of your mind and your actions by saying you either “will” or you “won’t“.
There’s nothing wrong with saying you won’t, that’s being honest.
No more I will “try” to make it to the gym or I will “try” to get in a run.
You either do it or you don’t, there’s no “trying” going forward, deal?
Another phrase to eliminate immediately is “I want“.
“I want” to lose weight, “I want” to eating healthier, “I want” a new career or “I want” to be happier.
Going forward, replace the phrase “I want” with “I will“.
“I WILL” lose weight, “I WILL” eat healthier, “I WILL” get a new career, “I WILL” be happier.
There’s power behind saying “I WILL” versus “I want“.
Saying “I want” is hoping for something, it’s wishful thinking.
Saying “I WILL” is taking ownership of what you want, it’s taking a stand that you will make it happen no matter what.
There is power behind saying “I WILL“.
Next time you’re speaking with someone about your goals, whatever they may be, tell them all the things you “WILL” do and watch how they react, how they look at you.
It’ll be a look of, “man, she means business or she’s really serious” and they will take you and what you’re saying more serious and guess what… when that happens, you’ll notice you too begin taking yourself, your goals, and what you believe more serious.
It’s a whole different world and ball game when this happens, and it WILL happen… see how I did that. 🙂
Your surrounds, whether it’s people, the books you read, the shows you watch, whatever it may be…
Your surrounds will ultimately define you, not all the time, but most of the time.
My favorite mentor, the late Jim Rohn said it best…
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
Who do you find yourself spending the most time with?
What books do you read?
What shows or podcasts do you listen to?
All of the influences are shaping how and what you think every single day.
Surround yourself with people who believe in you, support you, and encourage you.
If there’s no one in your life that’s like that and you’re surrounded by negative Nellie’s, no worries.
People who are looking to break free from their own bullshit stories they’ve created, from surroundings that are not helping them or inspiring them to do more and achieve more.
The Power of Community
Here at The Wellness Bucket, you will always be supported, encouraged, and believed in.
Don’t just read this information and these suggestions and do nothing with them either as so many of us do, including yours truly.
Go!… right now, to this community and sign up to be part of their community, it’s awesome!
Did you sign up? If you didn’t, Why not?
Let’s try it again… go to this community and sign up to be part of an awesome community that I too am a part of that will breathe life into you and your goals.
Nothing changes unless we change, including who we choose to spend our time around.
One of the quickest and most effective ways to change what you think, what you believe, and what you ultimately do, is by surrounding yourself with those who support and believe in you.
“You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you chose to be around.”
Whether that’s in the physical or virtual world, doesn’t matter.
What matters is you make it a point to always go where you’re celebrated and not just tolerated.
3) Creating Daily Habits
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.”
More valuable words from the man himself, Jim Rohn…. do you see now why I love the guy and consider him a mentor of mine? His words, ideas, and philosophies are gold.
How do we change our direction overnight?
Is it even possible?
Yes it’s possible and if you’re still following along and reading all I’m sharing here (if you are, you’re awesome and I appreciate it), you already have the first few pieces in place to make that happen.
You’ve identified what stories are serving you and the ones that are not… HUGE first step.
Without this, any approach you take will be flawed.
Your stories are either feeding your goals or killing them.
You’ve begun the process of creating a mindset that serves you and will work for you instead of against you by the new stories you’ve created and using phrases such as “I WILL” versus “I want or I’ll try“.
You are now part of a few different communities that believe in you, in your strengths, talents, and unique skills and are ready to do whatever’s necessary to help support and encourage you.
(Please tell me you signed up for the groups I mentioned above – if you didn’t do it now!)
In order for things to change, we must change.
In addition to spending time with people who believe in you, encourage and support you, it’s important to create daily habits that will support your goals.
Someone once said, “Tell me your daily habits and I’ll tell you what your life will look like in 1, 5, 10 years from now.”
Our habits, what we do day in and day out, are either creating what we want or don’t want.
Here’s some examples…
Spend more money than you make with bad spending habits and you’ll be broke.
Spend less money than you make and invest or save the rest and you’ll be rich.
Don’t brush or floss daily and you’ll have cavities.
Brush and floss daily, you’ll be cavity free.
Don’t exercise, don’t eat healthy foods, don’t get enough sleep, and you’ll be overweight.
Exercise regularly, eat healthy, and get enough sleep and you’ll be healthy and fit.
Habits Are The Things We Do And Focus On Daily
It’s these habits that manifest what we get or don’t get.
That’s either a good thing or bad thing depending on what your habits are.
Think about what your #1 goal is that you identified earlier.
Then take a look at what your daily habits are at the moment.
Are your daily habits supporting your #1 goal?
If your answer is no, it’s time to get rid of the ones that aren’t supporting your goal and replace them with others that will.
If your goal is weight loss, in order to successfully achieve your weight loss goals, daily habits such as exercise, healthy eating 5 times a day, 6-8 hours a sleep per night, 64oz of water per day – these are all daily habits that are necessary for you to achieve your weight loss goal.
My goals are to be healthy (maintain a certain percentage body fat), to be happy (to do work I love), and to serve people (whether it’s through The Wellness Bucket or other organizations).
These are my goals and the habits I have that support these goals are:
A) Daily exercise
B) Maintain a 90/10 rule eating schedule (eat healthy 90% of the time and indulge the other 10% of the time – I love cookies and cupcakes).
C) Writing in a gratitude journal every morning
D) Read 30 minutes or more every morning, books from people I admire, who’s work inspires me to be the best I can be so that I may be better able to help and serve others.
These are my daily habits that I have for myself that I stick to every morning… OK, maybe not every morning, but 98% of the time.
What Are Your Daily Habits?
Make sure whatever they are, they’re supporting your #1 goal and if they’re not, get rid of them.
Checking Facebook for hours a day won’t get you closer to losing weight.
Watching television for hours a day won’t help you find or create that new career for yourself.
The more honest we are with ourselves, with what our habits are and whether or not they’re supporting our goals, the more of a chance we have at successfully achieving them.
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Believe You’re Awesome, Because You Are
We’re only victims of the stories we tell ourselves if we allow ourselves to be.
I was a victim myself for way longer than I care to admit and it wasn’t until just a few years ago I identified a story that’s held me back since I was 13 years old.
It was like a light bulb moment when I realized how this one story, that I wasn’t good enough and just average, effected every aspect of my life.
Relationships, career, money, business, confidence – I was average at best in all of these areas because my story told me so.
Pardon the French, but fuck that story.
You know how I was able to identify that story and put an end to it once and for all?
It happened during a call where I was talking to someone from one of the new communities I had just joined, a community that believed in me, that encouraged and supported me.
It was one of the communities I encouraged you to become a part of earlier.
That’s why surrounding yourself with people or groups of people who are ready to help, support, and encourage you is so important and why I mention the importance of it over and over again.
Community Is Everything
If you’re told you’re stupid and that you can’t do something over and over again, chances are you’re going to start believing it.
If you’re told you’re awesome over and over again, you’re going to start believing that too.
Surround yourself with people who tell you you’re awesome and you will be awesome.
Creating Winning Habits That Support Your Goals
Eat pizza and fries everyday and don’t exercise, you’ll be overweight.
No surprise there.
Eat salads daily and exercise regularly and you’ll be healthy and fit.
No shocker there.
Shitty habits, shitty outcomes.
Healthy habits, healthy outcomes.
I don’t care who you are, what you’ve been through, what you’ve been told, or what you believe….
I’m Telling You – You’re Awesome!
Hear it, believe it, surround yourself with it – because you deserve to feel that way.
That you are awesome, that you do matter, that you are smart enough, good enough, worthy enough.
You can continue to believe the bullshit stories (which I really hope you don’t), or you take a stand right now and say NO MORE! Enough is enough – and change the direction you’re heading in overnight.
Do it now – please! I’ll beg if I have to.
Go back and go through the exercises I shared with you here to get rid of the stories that are holding you back.
You owe it yourself to be happy, healthy, and live the life you want.
And if I can help you in anyway to get there, reach out to me – I promise to help you.
Thanks for being here and thanks for being you.
You – Are – Awesome!