You ever find yourself asking, “What if? questions?”
What if you hadn’t gone to college?
What if you had?
What if you hadn’t had kids?
What if you had?
What if you hadn’t taken that job?
What if you had?
What if you hadn’t gone on that second date?
What if you had?
What if you hadn’t got married?
What if you had?
What if you hadn’t started that business?
What if you had?
There are so many “what if” questions we can ask ourselves.
Many of which I’ve asked myself over the years and sometimes still find myself asking.
What I’ve been paying more attention to lately is what I focus on after asking the question.
Am I focusing on how things may have been better for me had I made one choice over another?
Or, am I thinking about how blessed I am to have made the decisions I’ve made?
After asking yourself a “what if?” question, what do you focus on?
Do you focus on what is or what could have been?
Where does your focus go?
There was a time my focus would always go towards how much better my life could have been if only I had made this decision instead of that one.
If I hadn’t gone to college.
If I had started my business sooner.
If I hadn’t got married and divorced.
If I had continued climbing the corporate ladder.
Perhaps I’d be living a better life.
Filled with more health, more happiness, more money, more everything.
(Insert sound of screeching brakes here)
A better life?
Says who?
Who’s to say my life would be any better?
Who’s to say my life would be any worse?
I don’t know that, I’ll never know that.
And quite frankly, I don’t care to know that.
What I do know is the life I have now is the only one I have and I love it.
I’m super grateful for it and wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why?
Because focusing on what could have been is an unfulfilling fantasy.
Thinking up scenarios I don’t even know would have happened had I made different decisions is a waste of my time, energy, and effort.
Focusing on the decisions I’ve made, the lessons I’ve learned, how much I’ve grown in the process, and all the blessing in my life because of the decisions I’ve made…
That feels good.
That makes me happy.
And that is what I choose to focus on, not on what could have been.
A “could have been” I’m not even sure could have or would have been.
I focus on “what is” because what is, is all I’ve got.
And you know what?
What I’ve got is awesome.
Is it perfect?
Nope.
Never will be.
Is it awesome?
Heck yeah it is!
My guess is what you’ve got going on because of decisions you’ve made is awesome as well.
So, the next time you find yourself asking a “what if” question…
Focus on all the blessings in your life because of the decisions you’ve made and not on unfulfilling fantasies of what could have been.
Deal?
You’re awesome…
Cheers!
Mike
