Confidence Is Sexy! Four Ways To Help You Build Your Confidence.

Confidence is sexy.

Confidence is beautiful.

Confidence is contagious.

Confidence is the foundation of all great success and achievement.

It is crucial to our happiness and overall well being.

It’s available to all of us, but only achieved by those who take action.


Being confident isn’t a matter of good looks, having lots of money, being the smartest, highly successful, or being a dating machine. It doesn’t take any of these to be confident. Confidence is available to anyone who chooses to be confident and takes action.




The more we put ourselves in situations that require confidence, the more confident we become. I am going to repeat that last statement because it’s a very important one that needs to be fully understood.


The more we put ourselves in situations that require confidence, the more confident we become.


The only way to increase our confidence is to put ourselves in situations in which we aren’t confident. There’s no other way around it but that’s OK… I know you’re up for the challenge.

Here are some examples of how action increases confidence:

1. The only way to become more confident with public speaking is to speak publicly. This is one I am personally working on myself and the reason why I recently joined Toastmasters International.

2. The only way to be become confident at doing any job is to do it often, over and over again and not shy away from it.

3. The only way to become confident approaching someone and asking them on a date is to actually do it.


Regardless of the outcome in any one of these situations, whether it’s me being nervous and shaky while speaking publicly, or screwing up at a new job, or getting turned down when asking someone out on a date, it isn’t so much the outcome that increases your confidence (although it certainly helps), but the act itself.


You Miss 100% Of The Shots You Never Take.”

~ Wayne Gretzky ~


In any business, it isn’t success or knowing everything out of the gate that builds our confidence. Confidence is built by going for it, speaking publicly, taking on that new job, trying that new recipe, wearing that new dress, asking someone out on a date. It’s in doing, in taking action that we begin to build our confidence.

Even if we fail, we learn where and how we failed, make whatever adjustments necessary, and go for it again.

Repeat the above process multiple times over and you’ll be amazing at how quickly your confidence will soar.


Taking Action, Regardless Of The Outcome, Is What Builds Confidence.





Nothing To Lose

Whenever you put yourself out there and just go for it, remember that you have nothing to lose and everything to gain, including more confidence. Developing the mind-set where you have everything to gain and nothing to lose is definitely a step in the right direction. I’ll use the example here again of asking someone out on a date. If you ask and the answer is no, that’s OK. The big win here is that you took action and asked for the date which that in itself will begin to increase your confidence. Who knows, you might just get a yes. You win either way.


You’re Not Alone

Throughout the past 14 years, I’ve gotten the opportunity to work with many wonderful people, several of them high profile individuals who were very well known and respected within their industry. Given their level of success and overall status within their industry, I was surprised with some of the stories I would hear from them about how there were areas of their lives that they were unsure of, concerned with, or not as confident as you would think or expect them to be. Someone you may think is the definition of confidence may also be lacking confidence themselves. Regardless of fame, money, or smarts, remember that we’re all human.


Inspire Others

Whether it’s family, friends, spouse, coworker, or child, whenever you display acts of confidence, whether you know it or not, you are helping others by setting an example with your actions. You’re given hope to others who may also be looking to increase their own confidence. The actions you’re taking to increase your own confidence is inspiring others to do the same. Your actions will provoke others to start thinking, “well if he can do it, than I can do it too”. More often than not, whether you know it or not, you’re inspiring and leading by example.


You’re Better Than You Think

Our thoughts are powerful. How and what we think plays a big role in increasing our confidence. We have a tendency to think we can’t, we’ll fail, we’re not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough. You know what I think of these thoughts?…


You are good enough, smart enough, worthy enough. Believe you can and you will. What others think is irrelevant. What matters is what you think. We’re all awesome in our own unique ways, we all have our own unique set of skills, talents, and untapped potential. Believe that you’re awesome because you are and remember that confidence is a matter of choice. Choose to be confident and you will be.


“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

~ Henry Ford ~


What are some areas in your life where you’re looking to increase your confidence? What steps are you taking to be more confident in these areas? Please share your experiences with me in the comments below so that we may all learn, grow, and become more confident together.


Featured Image Credit: timmybendis


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